Can you guess it?

HARO (Help A Reporter Out)

(You’re the best, Peter!)

This past May, I was specifically told by my husband that I was not allowed to blog about him losing weight. He said he needed to do it first. Needed to accomplish his own goals before I, well, put it out there. I respected that. And now that he has reached his goal, I have the “green” light.

I blogged a couple of months ago about the Tweightloss Challenge that I began on Twitter. My husband was my inspiration. I wanted to lose the baby weight after the birth of my 4th son. I knew I needed some encouragement from my Twitter friends (since I’m “on” ALL day, every day!). And, I am happy to say, as of today… I’m 5 pounds from my goal!

I found 2 photos last night. One was taken in October 2004. One was taken in August 2008. Both have my husband and my brother, Adam, in them. The babies in the photos? The 2004 photo is William and my nephew, Jake. The 2008 photo is Henry and my nephew, Dylan. I emailed the photos to my husband with the caption… “Hard work goes a long way…” And, my God, honey… you worked so very hard.

2004 - Upon seeing this again, my husband asked me, “Who’s the fat, ugly woman with your brother?”

2008 - Honey, who’s the ripped hunk with my brother?

September 28th, 2008.

Alexander’s 3rd birthday.

The “Happy Birthday” phone calls all started rolling in around 7pm. Aunties. Uncles. Cousins. Grandparents. And friends.

By 9pm, Alexander had had enough of the “Happy Birthday” singing on the other end of the phone.

Case in point - Phone call from Pap Pap in Pittsburgh:

HAPPY OCTOBER!

My husband snapped this photo as the boys walked into preschool together.  It was Alexander’s 1st day.  And if there was anything to melt my heart… it was my sons being not only brothers, but friends.

With William and Alexander’s birthdays being this past week, I scoured through tons and tons of photos of them throughout the past 4 years. These are my precious memories captured in time. The moments I won’t forget. The faces that have changed and grown. It was amazing going through the photos…

Or, I should say… the folders upon folders upon folders of photos on my computer desktop.

That’s right. I have my sons histories captured in time, but stored away in folders in my computer.

This is what I miss most about the “old” days.

I didn’t go digital until 2003. And from my very beginning in May of 1978 through November of 2003, all of my photos are in albums. Neatly organized in albums. I love it. I flip through them whenever I want… and wherever.

Now?

It’s searching through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of photos on my computer. It truly made me put printing these photos on the top of my to-do list. 5 years of photos. 5 years of my life. 5 years of marriage. 4 pregnancies. 4 births. 4 sons.  All on my desktop.

These were some of my favorites to come across… again…

I can’t get over the striking resemblance between Alexander and Benjamin. This was Alexander at 15 months.

This was the very first time William locked eyes with Alexander.

This was Oct. 16th, 2007. The night I found out I was pregnant with Henry! I had just told my parents!

Matt and I kissing William. He was 3 days old.

Benjamin, Alexander and Henry goofing around!

On the way to the hospital to have Benjamin!

William as a baby… doesn’t Henry look just like him?

3 years ago today Alexander was born.

It was a beautiful (and HOT!) Wednesday in NYC. I had a 10am appointment with my OB/GYN. The second he walked into the room, he looked at me and said, “You’re ready to have this baby, aren’t you?”

I had been up all night with contractions - not hard-pressing ones - but one’s where I knew this baby wasn’t coming on his due date of October 8th!

He quickly “checked” me and told me I was 2cm. And then he said something that made me want to wrap my arms around him and possibly change the name we had planned of Alexander to Kenneth (my doctor’s name - Alex, I’m kidding!), “I’m sending you to the hospital now, we’re going to induce you. You’ll probably go into labor on your own over the next 24 hours anyway, so let’s just get things rolling sooner.”

And that was how my Alexander’s birthday began.

At 10:14pm that evening, out he came. My husband and my mother were there. He was healthy. And beautiful. My Alexander.

Like it is for me to think of William being 4… it is beyond amazing to think that Alexander is 3 years old. I truly don’t know where the last 3 years have gone. They have flown by.

The story of Alexander is a special one.

Let me start from Alexander’s very, very beginning.

Many people (OK, many, many, many people) couldn’t believe that we were trying to get pregnant so quickly after having William. William was 3 1/2 months when I got pregnant with Alexander. We had been trying since William was 8 weeks old. And many people will ask me if it was difficult being pregnant while caring for an infant… truth be told, it wasn’t difficult at all.

Alexander was a special baby…

Matt and I learned that our best friend from college - Dimitri - died while fighting in Fallujah on November 19, 2004. William had just turned 7 1/2 weeks. It shook our world. He had just enlisted in the Marines a year before and had just been sent over to fight. This was my husband’s best friend. His best man at our wedding. Dimitri was the reason we moved to NYC in the first place, Matt wanted to be near his best friend. They were - for lack there of a better word - “brothers.” Each of them only had sisters, so to each other, this was the closest they were ever going to get to having that brotherly bond.

It was on November 20, 2004… the day after he passed, and coincidentally, Matt’s 30th birthday… that we decided that the way we wanted and needed to honor “Dimi” was by having another baby. We wanted to celebrate life. Celebrate Dimi. And honor that baby-to-be with his name.

I found out I was pregnant January 30, 2005. We knew it was going to be a boy. We knew he would be Alexander Dimitri. We knew Dimi would send Matt something that the two of them had with each other… a brother for William.

And he was. And he is.

Alexander. Oh, my Alexander.

He is the quintessential “I’m just happy to be alive” type child.

Everyday he laughs. Everyday he giggles. Everyday he flashes his 100 watt smile. Everyday he lights every room he enters. That’s Alexander.

Even right now as I write this, he’s running around our kitchen with a dozen blue balloons laughing out loud and yelling for “William and Benjamin” to come join him!

Alexander is a sweet boy. Every morning when he comes downstairs he goes over to Henry and plops a big kiss on his head. And every morning. Every single morning. He looks at Henry, then looks at me and says, “Mommy, Henry’s so cute.” It’s one of those special moments that I wait for each day.

Alexander is a funny, non-stop little boy. He loves to dance in the kitchen with me. I joke with Matt that “I know who will be in the center of the circle dancing at school dances!” He’s got this way of dancing that just cracks me up. And the best, he knows it does… so he does it over and over and over again. He loves to spin. He must ask me 10 times a day if I will spin him around… and I will… and he will throw his head back and laugh out loud.

My mother jokes with me that Alexander will be my dare-devil. He’ll be calling me from some summit somewhere in the world someday saying, “Don’t worry Mom… I’ll be OK.” And, of course… I’ll be sending Matt via helicopter to go watch him!

The faces Alexander makes… they are priceless. Especially when he see the letter “A.” His eyes get real big and he joyfully yells, “MOMMY! My letter! It’s my letter!” Those are the moments in time I wish I could freeze right now. The joy of a 3 year old spotting the first letter in his name.

Alexander has brought more joy and more laughter and more happiness into my life. I feel blessed that I get to be his Mommy. He has taught me even more how to enjoy life. And has allowed me to see things through the eyes of a child, eyes with pure excitement for life.

So Alexander… my “Ally,” I love you lifetimes. I love you mountains high and oceans deep. I love you more than anything in this world. And yes, I love you the whole wide world. Happy, Happy Birthday my beautiful boy.

Yesterday was a perfect birthday for William.

He had a class party.

He had a family party.

He opened gifts.  He ate cake.  He chased balloons.

As far as 4th birthdays go, it was one heck of a day!

And with all the excitement of the day… Jane was still able to snap the cutest photo of my Henry on my lap.  My Henry.  My 14 week old Henry.

Watch out ladies… this smile is coming to get you!  Watch your daughters!

4 years ago today my William was born.

It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon in New York City.

William’s delivery was not an easy one… I pushed and pushed and pushed (and pushed some more) for hours. I just kept looking into my husband’s eyes, with tears down my cheeks and thinking, “I just want to meet him and hold him… our William.”

And then, at 1:51pm… a beautiful, healthy boy was placed on my chest. He was here! My William was finally here! And he was perfect.

As every mother will tell you… it is mind-boggling to think that my William is another year older. He’s 4! 4 years old. I almost have to keep repeating it to myself. He’s 4.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. January 17th, 2004. I just knew I was pregnant. Just knew. My whole life I had been excited to become a mother. And there it was, in confirmation with 2 pink lines… I was going to finally be one!

My pregnancy with William was as close to perfect as can be. I felt fantastic for 40 weeks. That’s right, William was born at exactly 40 weeks - exactly on his due date.

Last night after I tucked William in… and decorated his whole bedroom with balloons and streamers… I took out my journal. I started writing a journal to this “baby-to-be” in July of 2003. I would sit and just write letters. Telling the baby all about me. And Matt. And the life that I wished and dreamed for myself and my family-to-be. I sat there realizing that I truly wrote all of this before William had even been conceived. And then the journal continued through me trying to get pregnant with William… to finding out that I was… and then following my pregnancy (and all the pregnancies thereafter). I sat there in amazement… just looking back at William’s history. He was my meant-to-be…

William is my heart and my soul. He is the most gentle and kind and caring child.

Even last night… we celebrated early with Matt because he is in NYC all day today. As William blew out his candles he looked to me and said, “Mommy, you know what I wished for? I wished Nana Flo was still alive because I know Pop-up is sad she died.” My heart melted.

He is a funny little man. He has perfect comedic timing.

A few days ago he and his brother got in trouble for fighting in the bathroom. I had told them NOT to shut the bathroom door, and they did. I could hear laughing and giggling… and then brotherly-fighting. I opened the door and told them to go “Sit down in the living room until I told them to get up!” William looked at me with a half smile… and he goes, “Mommy… I know you’re mad right now… but can you please brush your teeth when you’re done being mad? Your breath is a little bad. But I don’t mean that to be rude, just to be nice and tell you.”

I couldn’t help but break into a roaring laugh.

He is smart and curious and wise.

William asks 100 questions a day about things. “Mommy, why did Benjamin Franklin get shocked?” “Mommy, how many days until you turn 31?” “Mommy, what letter comes after the letter ‘D’?” “Mommy, what’s 3 plus 4?” “Mommy, what does noca-turnal (as he says it) mean for deers?”

I love how he wants to know as much as he can know. I love how he wants to love and be loved. I love how he cares about his brothers and his cousins and his puppy-cousins. I love how he actually looks into my eyes and says to me, “Mommy, you are my pretty Mommy.” I love how he looks at Matt and says to him, “Daddy, thank you for losing weight to be healthy for us.”

I love my William more than anything in this world. I see the child he has emerged into to and I look at him and say to myself, “Did my husband and I really create him?” As I have said many times to William, what did I do in a past life to get so lucky to have him in this life?

Jane’s post left me in tears today. I have never had anyone say those things about me as a mother. I was humbled. Beyond. And speechless, which is tough to do to me!

William was the reason I wanted Alexander and Benjamin and Henry. I saw this child and I saw how he made me feel and I knew I wanted to have that feeling multiplied. I knew I wanted more children. And soon! People often (oh-so-often) ask me “Why so many?”, “Why more?”… I never have the “perfect” answer to give them. Usually my answer is “Why, not?”

4 years ago today changed the course of my life. My William changed the course of my life. All of a sudden everything else in the world besides my family became a little less important…

There are no words to describe the feeling I get when I see my William as a 4-year-old. This morning I stood in our kitchen watching him try and put a binky back into Henry’s mouth and a smile just spread across my face. This is my William. This beautiful boy. This magnificent child.

The boy that I prayed and wished and hoped for…

Happy 4th Birthday, my William!

And guess what?… I love you the whole wide world a million times!

Oh, the joys.

I blogged on Monday about getting to NYC on Saturday for our friend’s wedding. I was lost. I was found. But all the while, I can say with 100% certainty that I knew my boys were safe and sound at home with my parents.

I was wrong.

I was told the “real” story yesterday when William asked if he could have an apple from the apple picking day with his cousins.

HUH?

“Honey, we don’t have any apples left from last year,” I said.

To which he responded, “No, Mommy… from when Grandma and Pop-up took us a few days ago with my cousins.”

HUH?

I called my mother. She laughed. “Who told you? William?”

UH-HUH.

My parents could tell that I was getting more and more frazzled by the moment on my unexpected Brooklyn detour on Saturday… so they didn’t need me to worry about my 4 boys being an hour from home and running around an apple orchard with their 5 cousins.

I will agree, I didn’t need the extra worry… believe me.

But when I saw the pictures, I felt so happy that my boys had such a happy afternoon running and laughing and picking and eating with their cousins and aunties and uncles. Thanks, Mom & Dad!

I had a blog in my head to compose this morning… a little more on the serious side…

But then I saw Benjamin playing hide-and-go-seek with his brothers this morning, and I couldn’t help snapping some photos of the fun he was having hiding in our pantry!